This better be the apartment, damnit. (Source: Hillel Realty Group)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup showcases some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

One Bedroom on Homecrest

Price: $1,425

Location: Homecrest Avenue

Description: Pre-war! Elevator! Laundry! Hardwood floors! No darn pets though. That’s about all we see in this, although we’re a bit ticked off by the “pictures may vary” statement. You offer photos in an apartment listing, it damn well better be of the apartment in questions.

Contact: Ralph Safdieh, Hillel Realty Group, (917) 855-9161

Two Bedrooms with Genuine Bamboo

Price: $2,100

Location: Brighton 11th Street

Description: A newly renovated two-bedroom, squished into 873 square feet with a price tag that leaves you wondering if there’s a third bedroom somewhere in there. Pets okay, though. Squeeze them in, too. ‘Cause why not?

Contact: Chauncey Palmer, Oxford Property Group, (347) 409-7970

Studio in Brighton Beach

Price: $1,550

Location: Brighton 2nd Street

Description: Ain’t no photos of this baby, but we don’t see studios come up too often so we’re sharing it. Pets allowed. Hardwood floord. Near “THE BEACH.”

Contact: Ralph Safdieh, Hillel Realty Group, (917) 855-9161

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

The approximately footprint of the combined properties now owned by Muss Development. (Source: Google Maps)

Muss Development, the developer that built and manages Brighton Beach’s Oceana Condominium complex, has snapped up a sprawling 87,500-square-foot development site on Sheepshead Bay Road that was previously slated to become a mall – and they’ve announced plans to make it fully residential.

The deal was done in two parts, with Muss teaming up with AvalonBay Communities to purchase 1501 Voorhies Avenue, currently the vacant lot adjacent to the subway station that was once occupied by Verizon, at $16.2 million. In a separate deal, Muss acquired for $4 million the attached property at 1600 Sheepshead Bay Road at East 16th Street, where Citibank and several vacant storefronts are currently located.

These are properties with a back story.

The sites were sold by Acadia Realty Trust, which purchased them for $20.3 million in 2008. Acadia, in partnership with PA Associates had planned a two-building complex dubbed Station Plaza that included a 22-story mixed-use tower. There was to be mall with four floors of shopping, a new public street that cut through the property at East 16th Street, and more than 650 parking spaces – anchored by 16 floors of residential condominiums.

A rendering of the four-story mall previously planned for this location. A 16-story tower would have been perched atop this.

That was the plan, until the economy tanked and PA Associates were tied up with former State Senator Carl Kruger in a corruption scandal. Even before all that, we noted that the ambitious plan was a long way from becoming a reality.

Muss Development is looking to ditch the mall idea altogether, and make the larger property, the Verizon lot, fully residential. It will be split between condominiums and rental units, according to Commercial Observer, and can be built up to 250,000 square feet. It’s not yet clear how tall that would be, but the previously planned 22-story tower was one of the few that could be built in the area without seeking approval from the community due to the immense size of the lot. So while the new owners will not be able to build quite as tall, they can still make a good reach for the sky.

It’s unclear what the plans are for the Sheepshead Bay Road site, which currently has 4,000 square feet of retail and 9,000 square feet of commercial space.

Oh, hey that’s one of them fancy pools you hear about. (Source: Bond)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup showcases some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

One Bedroom in Sheepshead Bay

Price: $1,300

Location: Ocean Parkway

Description: Here is a “Doorman” apartment, not to be confused with an apartment that has a doorman. I’m too much of a plebeian to understand the delicate subtleties between these two differences. But believe “the” realtor. You have to be sponsored by the co-op, so make sure to elevate yourself past the plebeian level.

Contact: Mark Benson, Bond New York, (646) 645-4400

One Bedroom in Midwood

Price: $1,150

Location: Avenue O

Description: This apartment is standard in the fact that it has a small bathroom that passes as a “full” bathroom and hardwood floors. The realtor writes that the kitchen “will be renovated.” When? Before someone moves in or a month after signing the lease? Here at Sheepshead Bites, we ask the tough questions.

Contact: Adrianna Sitner, David West Properties, (347) 346-1508

Three Bedrooms in Brighton Beach

Price: $2,400

Location: Brightwater Court

Description: The bathroom in this apartment has new tiles but it looks like the wood floors haven’t been replaced. The kitchen has cooking space, instead of the usual ultra-narrow spot with barely enough space for a fridge.

Contact: Chauncey Palmer, Oxford Property Group, (347) 409-7970

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

This apartment is so expensive, you’ll need to pay in gold or a few thousand Doubloons. (Source: Kian Realty)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup showcases some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

Two Luscious Bedrooms in Sheepshead Bay

Price: $1,888

Location: Brigham Street and Emmons Avenue

Description: This is the kind of realtor who has you in mind, like a considerate lover. And in this spirit, he writes, “To make best use of your time, give me an idea of what you’re looking for.” He then tells you that if you love this place, act “swiftly” because “its quite disheartening to be emotionally invested in a space and miss it by a small margin.” And this gentleman won’t let you get emotionally invested in something just to watch you lose it. I would continue to describe the apartment but that’s all the time we have for this segment.

Contact: Hannibal Collins, Kian Realty, (347) 985-0021

One Bedroom in Brighton Beach’s Trump Towers

Price: $1,500

Location: 44 Neptune Avenue

Description: This apartment is in a neighborhood that’s “full of life.” I’m wondering which neighborhoods are only half full with life, or completely vacant of life, but my deadlines prevent me from pondering such existential concerns for long. Also, there’s a balcony where you can take all this life in.

Contact: Ilona Vovk, Talk of the Town Realty, (718) 627-7500

Two Bedrooms in Sheepshead Bay

Price: $1,900

Location: East 17th Street between Avenue U and Avenue V

Description: With zoomed in shots of the bathroom sink and unusually low shots of the rooms, this realtor is either really into details or hiding the truth. Well we’re here to reveal the truth and tell you that this apartment has a dishwasher and dogs and cats are allowed. But you can’t have a ferret. But that’s not the realtor’s fault, it’s Giuliani’s.

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

When looking for the right apartment, you generally want to have the front-door feature. (Source: AptsandLofts)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup showcases some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

One Bedroom in Midwood

Price: $1,675

Location: East 14th Street and Avenue O

Description: This realtor really knows how to tug at the desperate strings. He notes that this apartment has a new air-conditioner unit. But are you desperate enough to pay this rent?

Contact:Michael Facey, AptsandLofts, (718) 954-2216

Three Bedrooms in Gravesend

Price: $1,800

Location: Crawford Avenue and Coney Island Avenue

Description: This is one of those apartments where the kitchen just seems out of place, like someone just plopped it into a random room and was too lazy to put it somewhere else. There is a private parking spot included in the rent and the apartment is located on the third floor.

Contact: Peter Chang, (646) 778-2260

One “Super Affordable” Bedroom in Sheepshead Bay

Price: $1,550

Location: Brighton Second Street

Description: While this is a decent sized apartment, calling it not just affordable but super affordable seems like an exaggeration. Unless of course you’re a Manhattan banker looking for a beachside apartment. Dogs and cats are allowed.

Contact: Hans Gonzalez, Bond New York, (917) 539-9418

One Bedroom in Brighton Beach

Price: $1,450

Location: Coney Island Avenue and Oceana Drive West

Description: This apartment has a huge living and a not so huge kitchen. Seems like a fair trade-off unless you cook (stop making the rest of us feel bad).

Contact: Zuz Realty, (718) 513-3763

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

(Source: Citi Habitats)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup showcases some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

One Bedroom in Brighton Beach

Price: $1,550

Location: Brightwater Court

Description: Not only does this apartment have a kitchen, but it’s a “windowed-kitchen” and a living room with recessed lights. While we’re falsely enhancing the rooms, let’s also note that there’s a toileted-bathroom and bedroomed- bedroom.

Contact: Diana Zorovich, Citi Habitats, (646) 821-3698

One Bedroom in Midwood

Price: $1,250

Location: East 14th Street and Avenue P

Description: We’ve got a live-in super and an eat-in kitchen being sold by a highly motivated, high-tech realtor here. The bathroom has blue tiles with a matching toilet seat cover, giving you that pleasant bathroom experience you’ve been searching for all your life.

Contact: Zuz Realty, (718) 513-3763

One Bedroom on a Beach

Price: $1,850

Location: Brighton 14th Street

Description: Considering that this neighborhood has the word beach in it, any apartment here is considered to be on a beach. But how dare this realtor call our putrid sliver of beach “a” beach. This is “THE” beach. There is also no fee for this apartment.

Contact: Yuliya Lekh, City Solutions, (917) 482-0243

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

Source: Google Maps

Ocean Medical Plaza at 2700 Ocean Avenue, a medical office with 35 examination rooms, is now on the market for $5.75 million.

The 12,500 square foot building wedged between residential apartments between Avenue W and Gravesend Neck Road is being marketing by Massey Knakal Realty Service, according to a press release from the broker, and it appears the business is up for grabs as well.

The two-story building, with fully-finished basement, contains approximately 12,500 square feet and sits on a 40’ x 125’ lot.  It consists of 35 large examination rooms making this an excellent opportunity for a medical practice looking to expand. The owners are willing to sell the business as well, a highly respected medical practice that has been servicing the community for 18 years.

It doesn’t appear as if the business is included in the asking price.

According to Property Shark, the building stands on a 5,000 square foot lot. A developer can build an additional 8,000 square feet.

Originally built in 1995, the business is currently operated by Drs. Lazar and Elina Kaganovsky. Before that year, it was a two-story, one-family home.

(Source: Oxford Property Group)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup showcases some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com. 

Studio in Midwood

Price: $1,000

Location: Kings Highway

Description: How can a studio be “tucked away on a quiet tree lined street” but also have “public transit right outside your building”? Well, that’s the magic of a realtor. But the magic show doesn’t end there. Prospect Park is only “minutes away,” the realtor writes and then goes into a detailed description of the different birds, and bats, in the park. Powerful magic.

Contact: Lisa Diamond, Oxford Property Group, (718) 600-9433

Three Bedrooms in Private Home

Price: $1,600

Location: Gilmore Court

Description: While this apartment promises “huge” bedrooms, something we all hope for, they’re also “clean,” a truly lucky thing to have. Located on a very small block, Gilmore court is near Emmons Avenue. The realtor points out that the avenue is “famous” and you will have all the benefits of living near such fame, like shirtless old men meandering around in the summer.

Contact: Gulnora Nazarova, Continent Realty, (347) 210-2272

Three Bedrooms and “Closets Galore” in Manhattan Beach

Price: $2,900

Location: Amherst Street and Hampton Avenue

Description: Even with all my seasoned years (translation: months) I can’t figure out the jargon this realtor uses. So I will just present them to you here for your better judgement. There’s a modern EIK (possible translation: some kind of animal related to the elk? [Editor’s note: It’s an eat-in kitchen. What’s wrong with you, Eric?]). And there’s also a C/A (possible translation: the opposite of an A/C [Editor’s note: Okay, you got me.]).

Contact: Llarson, Cornerstone Real Estate, (718) 701-8470

Two Bedrooms in Gravesend

Price: $1,900

Location: Ocean Parkway and Avenue P

Description: At first glance, this apartment seems pretty standard, even on the nice side. There are new hardwood floors, a nice kitchen and large bedrooms but there are no windows in any of the pictures nor does the realtor mention them.

Contact: Sophia Kapassakis, Ardor New York Real Estate, (646) 266-7598

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

Behold, a bathroom for a king. So not you. (Source: Hillel Realty Group)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup is a new feature showcasing some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com. And if you live in or near one the places below, let neighbors know what you think in the comments

Two Bedrooms in Sheepshead Bay 

Price: $1,875

Location: Brigham Street and Emmons Avenue

Description: Heat and hot water, two things you won’t be using much this season, are included in the rent. The windows are big and get a lot of sunlight, all the better to see that the kitchen and bathroom have been renovated.

Contact: Ida Hamdan, Hillel Realty Group, (212) 588-3000

One Bedroom in Gravesend

Price: $1,425

Location: East 3rd Street, off Avenue W

Description: With the words “huge” and “sunny” this apartment looks appealing. Laundry is also available in the building but the downside is pets aren’t allowed. Unless you’re one of those people that don’t have any pets and therefore hates others who know the joys of owning pets.

Contact: Ralph Safdieh, Hillel Realty Group, (917) 855-9161

Two Bedrooms in Midwood

Price: $1,925

Location: East 14th Street and Kings Highway

Description: If you’re not from around here, the prospect of living by a road with the word highway may seem unappealing and you’re probably right. But this apartment does come with some blue walls and two large bedrooms.

Contact: Israel Barber, Zuz Realty,  (917) 396-9552

Two Bedrooms in Sheepshead Bay

Price: $1,750

Location: 2750 Homecrest Avenue

Description: The biggest attraction (summer lingo) of this apartment is that there is no fee. The apartment has been renovated but the bedrooms are junior. The realtor seems to be compensating (Freud lingo) for this by pointing out there is a “living room/dining room combo.”

Contact: Raymond Cortez, Skygroup Realty, (347) 552-6341

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

Oceana complex (Source: Google Maps)

The final building in the Oceana condominium complex is nearly complete, and now owner Muss Development has announced plans to fill the first two floors with commercial tenants – the first businesses to appear within any of the complex’s 16 buildings.

The latest building, 50 Oceana Drive East, has been topped off, and Muss tells Commercial Observer that they’re looking to 8,420 square feet of retail on the ground floor, and 15,490 square feet of medical or office space on the second floor.

They tout the building’s flood-prepped amenities:

The commercial space is unique for South Brooklyn, Mr. Muss said, because it is new with 16-foot ceilings, comes with all of the modern bells and whistles and was LEED-designed by SLCE Architects. The entire building was built to post-Superstorm Sandy standards. That means the electrical switch gear was moved from the basement to an elevated platform well above the flood plane level and the elevator controls were moved from the basement to the roof.

Considering Oceana is a gated community, it makes me wonder whether a business owner would want to be behind the gates. Or if residents want random people coming through the gates. What do you think?

UPDATE (12:40 p.m.): As pointed out by commenter New World below, there will not be access to the residential portion:

Retail space would only be accessible from Coney Island, and would not have exit to the Oceana territory. One will need the Oceana a Resident key in order to enter the building from inside the Oceana, that’s the deal spelled out in the Muss/HOA of Oceana contract.

And a guest points out:

the elevators would be closed off so that no one can access the residential portion of the building from the retail space