Here’s some hard-hitting news for you: Waldbaum’s at 3100 Ocean Avenue now requires a 25-cent deposit to use their shopping cart, reports reader nolastname.
Nolastname asked management about the development, and they said that too many shopping carts have been stolen recently. But nolastname has her own thoughts on the topic:
“$.25 is not going to stop someone from stealing a wagon that is worth a couple hundred,” she wrote to us. “I figure one or more high end cars got scratched/dented and are suing Wally World for not keeping the wagons contained.”
Here’s a little something for you long-time Sheepshead Bites readers:
You haven’t heard from us shopping carts for a while, but we’re still here, being used and abused, abandoned and tossed out. I promise you, I have all of my four wheels intact. But, why these heartless cleanup guys decided to throw me in the trash, I really don’t know.
As for my friend – sure, she’s not a supermarket cart like me, but she’s still a cart. Plus, she used to be bright red, but due to years of sitting out in the harsh elements, she’s a pretty pink. I can’t tell you if she still has all of her casters, but there is no way that you can come out to rescue me and leave my best friend in this dumpster.
Please, my Sheepshead Bay neighbors, if any of you are into some serious dumpster diving, please come and rescue us. We’re about to get dragged away and taken to some dump, somewhere. HEEELP!!
You know how in zombie movies, before the massive zombie attack, there are always news reports in the background about smaller attacks and nobody’s paying attention? It’s pretty much the same thing with shopping carts.
Trafficked, abandoned, rejected, abused… shopping carts are working corners, lurking in alleys and hiding in yards. All alone, with nothing to do but think about their vengeance on the humans.
So when the above report came on about a small town mayor looking to halt the start of a cart-ocalypse by charging fines for stealing the vehicles, we bet you weren’t paying attention.
But you should have. For the most renowned prophet of shopping carts makes an appearance about halfway through, and you would be wise to heed her words.
The holidays can be tough. Hauling frozen turkeys and canned goods back and forth, back and forth all day long… it takes its toll. This poor shopping cart gave up in the middle of it, collapsing at the curb by Waldbaum’s at 3100 Ocean Avenue.
We don’t know. She went M.I.A., and took all the photos of shopping carts with her. So, instead of Ray making up stories about shopping carts, how about you make up some stories about Ray? Where’d she go?!
Shopping carts having a little too much fun? (Photo courtesy of MSniceguy, August 2010)
We’re not in Sheepshead Bay or anywhere near, but we’re close enough so that when we decided to roll all the way, we wheeled over to the new (now notorious!) sex shop on Sheepshead Bay Road.
That store got so much attention that even if there was one closer to us, here at Michael’s Arts & Crafts Store in the very quiet little mall near JFK Airport, we just had to go and see if there was anything that could make our first time go smoothly, if you know what I mean.
When we got there, we realized that we didn’t need any of those plastic toys and novelties. I mean, we’re both mainly plastic ourselves. So here we are, cuddling after our little afternoon delight, in the broad daylight, au naturel!
No longer determined to die. (Photo courtesy of nolastname, August 2010)
Last week, when they first published my story, I thought I was taking my last breath — but, somehow, my diaphragm just kept on going.
The next day, when someone started taking pictures of me, it was early morning and I really wasn’t in any mood. Then, the photographer told me that life is like that. Every day is a sunset. Some days it’s a lovely sunset, some days pretty dull — but, there’s always a sunrise. Even if the clouds obscure it, the sun rises.
I suddenly felt some hope, and taking my last breath wasn’t the only thing I could think about. This ain’t no kind of life for a shopping cart, but things could be worse, I suppose. I mean, I could have ended up in the Gowanus Canal, instead of near Caesar’s Bay or whatever place this is.
Shopping cart dying on the rocks. (Courtesy of MSniceguy, August 2010)
Ashes to ashes. Metal to metal.
Here I am, taking my last breath. I know you didn’t see me covered by the gentle waves hitting the rocks, and I know it’s hard to see my clunky metal when you’re thinking of the lovely (though, somewhat hazy) Verrazano Bridge view.
If my wheels must take its last roll, it’s better that I die here with this lovely sunset than buried under some cold, dark soil.