SHEEPSHEAD BAY'S ONLY INDEPENDENT NEWS BLOG

Here at Sheepshead Bites, we are inundated with a deluge of craigslist listings peppering our news alerts, and while most go straight to the trash, an occasional odd gem will pop up that we simply cannot ignore.

Today we stumbled across a listing from a self-described “all-american man” in his mid- to upper-40s, willing to provide a free room in his Coney Island Avenue apartment. All you have to do to claim this free room is A) be a woman, and B) share a physical relationship with this 5’8, 170-pound treasure of All-American manliness.

Now, now, ladies. Before you choke back your vomit at the thought of this well-intentioned altruism, know that Adonis here also has a heart as big as the gaping hole in his basic grammar education.

“i live alone and I’m tired of having to find someone for my physical needs. i’m willing to take care of your needs as well the apartment is clean nice and you get your own bedroom (other side of apartment) !! but i think that a few times a week we can …..”

Come on, creepy craigslist dude! Have you thought this through? You just want to skip the whole dating game, move a girl you barely know into your home and start a sexual relationship? Are you crazy? Well, obviously you are crazy, but seriously… have you thought this through?

Does the woman in question have to have nooky with you every time you want it? What if she says no? What if she moves in and you decide you don’t like her anymore? Are you gonna kick her out after a week? There seem to be many holes (pun intended) in your grand scheme to override all the rules of courtship and decent society in an attempt to have a live-in sex partner.

Do yourself a favor: Take this ad down ASAP, give eHarmony another try, and never tell anyone you did this. Meanwhile, don’t mind us as we laugh at you forever.

The ad Gallo refers to.

Republican contender Russ Gallo, seeking to unseat Assemblyman Steven Cymbrowitz, blasted the incumbent in a press release this morning for advertising a job posting on Craigslist, which he said is “notorious for being used by criminals and those peddling immorality.”

According to Gallo, Cymbrowitz’s campaign used the website to advertise a recent job opening. That action, Gallo suggests, puts him in the company of drug dealers and prostitutes.

“Instead of reaching out directly to college students, activists or employment agencies, Steven Cymbrowitz chose a website notorious for being used by criminals and those peddling immorality,” wrote Gallo. “Steven Cymbrowitz is supposedly sensitive to issues of addiction, yet advertises to employ people on the same website where drug pushers freely sell addictive prescription drugs like Adderall.  He also proclaims to be ‘conservative’, yet advertises alongside drug dealers, prostitutes and people seeking ‘casual encounters’.  How can he justify this?” said Gallo.

The ad Gallo refers to was posted yesterday, and is seeking part-time staffers for his campaign. A second ad mentioned in Gallo’s e-mail was posted in July, advertising for interns to work on constituent issues in his office. It has since expired and been removed from the site.

To prove the point that Craigslist is more nefarious than an opium den, Gallo notes that the NYPD recently conducted a major sting, netting 21 arrests of those illegally selling prescription narcotics on the site. Selling illegal items is against Craigslist’s Terms of Service.

In the press release, Gallo describes Craigslist as ”a website where users place advertisements for just about anything, including illegal and immoral wares.”

It also just happens to be the ninth most visited website in the United States, and claims 60 million individual users in the United States a month.

That’s a lot of prostitutes and drug dealers. We await Cymbrowitz’s justification for throwing his lot in with them.

An ad was posted on Craigslist “Missed Connections” involving Roll-n-Roaster, a brunette, and a 25-year old man.

Amidst the roast beef and 1970′s-style furnishings at 2901 Emmons Avenue, the unnamed 25-year-old found himself gazing diagonally across the room at a “beautiful Brunette wearing a Black T-Shirt, Blue shorts, and Sneakers ‘maybe converse’.”  According to the ad, he and the woman made eye contact several times, but he did not speak to her and later on regretted it.

The ad was posted Tuesday; the encounter occurred sometime that evening. The brunette targeted in the ad was “with a friend,” however the post offered no further details.

Sheepshead Bites believes we should all, y’know, love thy neighbor. Sometimes, literally. And, sometimes, we want to help a brother out.

If that brunette is one of our readers, give this dude a chance. Even if he is a little weird looking.

UPDATE (8/3/2012 at 9:00 a.m.): We removed the photo from our post after a reader claimed that the Craigslist poster used that photo of someone else without his permission. Sounds, uh, credible. Way to go, Craigslist.

Fidler smash! Fidler bash! Fidler make city agency do job! (Source photo courtesy of GerritsenBeach.net)

Yesterday we told you about a Craigslist post in which a Batchelder Street man (oh, and the manliness of said man was never fact-checked, so it may just be a wo-man) asked someone to come and give new life to a fallen tree branch that the city forgot about, and which was creating an eyesore on the block.

Today we got an e-mail from the poster, who turned out to be a reader, saying that another reader, Councilman Lew Fidler, got in touch to help out.

FYI, I got a response to my tree limb Craigslist post today from Lew Fidler’s office thanks to your article on Sheepshead Bites. They are going to help and arrange to have the branch removed.

Sheepshead Bites has come through for me yet again! Thank you so much!

So tip o’ the hat to the poster for taking his/her gripes to the interwebs (a truly revolutionary idea we certainly never would have thought of), and to Lew Fidler’s office for getting in front of the situation.

Sometimes, when you can’t get the city to do something for you, and your family won’t help either, and friends are – well, what are friends good for, anyway? – it’s time to turn to the interwebs.

That’s what one Batchelder Street man did. After a 25-foot tree branch fell on his block and no one removed it, he attempted to entice Craigslist users who might find “higher purpose” for it in, well, who knows. A hipster art project? An urban carpenter? Whatever. Here’s the ad, published yesterday:

25 foot, newly-fallen tree branch in front of 2035 Batchelder Street. Please make it go away. Tree discarded its limb in the middle of the street, conscientiously avoiding any moving or parked vehicles. Shortly thereafter the jettisoned appendage was bravely and valiantly hoisted and relocated to its current location, on the sidewalk, by New York’s Bravest, where it has remained for a number of days. The limb was lovely to look at while amongst its brethren high above us, but now not so much. Can you find a higher purpose for this now large obstacle? Come and get it, it’s all yours.

We have no idea if the branch is still there.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve posted and/or responded to on Craigslist?

H/T to Thomas C. for the link.

Photo by Erica Sherman

Here at Sheepshead Bites, we are all about spreading the love, even if it means posting porely-spelt “Missed Connections” from Craigslist.

u were walking to subway on sheepshead bay road… – 27 (Sheepshead bay)

…I drove pass and we made heavy eye cocntact a few times. u looked good, masculine and seemed interested, but hesitant. hit me up if this sounds familiar around 620am. let me know

Not that I am one to dole out romantic advice to anyone, but if you want to try to really ‘wow!’ a member of the opposite sex, or even a member of the same sex, while you are cruising at 6:20 a.m. underneath the train trestle, try giving the impression that you graduated from fifth grade. Although, truth be told, I have not had much luck with that tactic myself.

Hey, Valentine’s Day is less than eight months away — why not get a head start?