
Here at Sheepshead Bites, we are inundated with a deluge of craigslist listings peppering our news alerts, and while most go straight to the trash, an occasional odd gem will pop up that we simply cannot ignore.
Today we stumbled across a listing from a self-described “all-american man” in his mid- to upper-40s, willing to provide a free room in his Coney Island Avenue apartment. All you have to do to claim this free room is A) be a woman, and B) share a physical relationship with this 5’8, 170-pound treasure of All-American manliness.
Now, now, ladies. Before you choke back your vomit at the thought of this well-intentioned altruism, know that Adonis here also has a heart as big as the gaping hole in his basic grammar education.
“i live alone and I’m tired of having to find someone for my physical needs. i’m willing to take care of your needs as well the apartment is clean nice and you get your own bedroom (other side of apartment) !! but i think that a few times a week we can …..”
Come on, creepy craigslist dude! Have you thought this through? You just want to skip the whole dating game, move a girl you barely know into your home and start a sexual relationship? Are you crazy? Well, obviously you are crazy, but seriously… have you thought this through?
Does the woman in question have to have nooky with you every time you want it? What if she says no? What if she moves in and you decide you don’t like her anymore? Are you gonna kick her out after a week? There seem to be many holes (pun intended) in your grand scheme to override all the rules of courtship and decent society in an attempt to have a live-in sex partner.
Do yourself a favor: Take this ad down ASAP, give eHarmony another try, and never tell anyone you did this. Meanwhile, don’t mind us as we laugh at you forever.

Even minor embellishments to this home's bargeboard help to highlight the stark differences from its sleek modern neighbor on the left
Anyone who has ever had a Christmas tree knows that without decorations, all you’ve got is a chopped down pine tree in your living room. Tinsel and lights may add something but ornaments are what really brings cheer and raises everyone’s holiday spirit.
Architecture of the Victorian era was no different. Ornaments added a twist to otherwise utilitarian components of a building’s construction. Say you wanted to cover up a roof line or gutter with a cornice or bargeboard or use a corbel to hold up those structures – without ornamentation all you’ve got is a rather dull, plain, boxy piece of wood, metal or stone.
I recently checked out a few of the older homes and houses of worship in and around Sheepshead Bay. As I took photographs, one common theme that seemed to run through these venerable old buildings – and likewise separated them from their plainer, more modern neighbors – was the fine architectural details used to decorate them.
The first and most plentiful example of these energizing embellishments I saw on my trip to the Bay was the Sheepshead Bay United Methodist Church (3087 Ocean Avenue), which has stood at the corner of Ocean Avenue and Voorhies Avenue since 1884.

The wood and metal tracery not only holds together window panes but adds to a more elaborate look
The church, which is built in the Gothic Revival style, also has a major Eastlake influence. The big giveaway that the church is built in the Gothic style is its lancet-arched windows and doors. Its Eastlake influence can be seen in the elaborate bargeboards hanging down from its roof eaves and gables – complete with pendants dropping down to decorate the empty air below. Click Here For More Historic Southern Brooklyn Architecture

Welcome back to The Bite, Sheepshead Bites’ weekly column where we explore the foodstuffs of Sheepshead Bay. Each week we check out a different offering from one of the many restaurants, delis, food carts, bakeries, butchers, fish mongers, or grocers in our neighborhood. If it’s edible, we’ll take a bite.
This week The Bite samples one of the most suspect meal deals around – the “lunch special.” You know the meal I’m talking about. Soup or egg roll, pork fried or white rice and an entrée. It’s ubiquitous to the Chinese restaurant industry. High-end or low-end restaurant, it doesn’t matter. Somewhere on the menu, you’ll find the “special lunch menu.” Oh, some places change the offerings a little bit by adding soda or salad as options. More health conscience establishments may add brown rice, but its all the same.
Join me now as I take on Mr. Tang Coney Island Kitchen’s “Special Luncheon Menu’s” Orange Chicken, with pork fried rice. At Mr. Tang’s, the offerings are soup or soda, pork fried rice or white rice and the entrée. I usually go with the spicy dishes, so Orange Chicken ($5.35) was my choice. No soup for me! A diet coke completed my meal as it was 90 degrees outside and Mr. Tang’s dining room wasn’t air conditioned.
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(Photo courtesy of Arthur Borko)
What does that little Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner think he’s doing over here on my curb? This is my territory. Well, it’s a lucky thing for that little pipsqueak that my wheels are hindered by the snow and ice, otherwise I would have rolled him right into that Coney Island Avenue traffic. Not even the doctors at the 24-hour emergency service would be able to save him.