Hangar B at Floyd Bennett Field

I am of the mind that the hipster ethos, particularly with regard to music and fashion, is simply too avant-garde for me to figure out, particularly as it relates to a concert series in our area… but I shall take a crack at it, for all of you, followed by a long hot shower, because I simply don’t trust where these people have been.

Apparently there is some promoting entity called Jelly NYC and they do, or did, a concert series in Williamsburg — the “Jelly NYC Williamsburg Waterfront parties,” which used to be held in McCarren Park (I think that might be their equivalent to our Marine Park), although, when you go to their [intentionally?] minimalist website, in tiny print all that is stated on the home page is that Jelly, a “full service creative agency based in Brooklyn, New York,” is Paper Magazine’s “Promoter of the Year 2010.” Woo.

In addition to a “contact us” link, a separate follow-through link takes you to a tumblr. page, which hosts a random smattering of abstract images and videos, which do not appear to have anything to do with one another. Check it out — see for yourself. I don’t really get it, but perhaps I am just not cool enough to understand nuance.

So now, Brooklyn365 (whose website is, thankfully, more coherent than Jelly’s, because navigating through the Hipsterverse is like trying to surf the cosmos using a map written in Mandarin) is reporting that Jelly NYC will be holding a concert series in Floyd Bennett Field called “Rock Beach” — the Jelly NYC “Rock Beach” site, indeed, listed a comprehensive playlist with bands and exact dates beginning July 9 — except they later reported that “The Rock Beach’s World Wide Website has now been taken down, as it was actually not meant for public consumption.”

Read it as many times as you need, because I am not drawing a flow chart. Jelly NYC no longer handles the Williamsburg Waterfront parties > Jelly NYC was going to handle something called Rock Beach > Now we don’t know if Jelly NYC will handle Rock Beach, or anything for that matter, because their website is reporting bupkes.

If anyone could shed greater light on this conundrum, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Trying to write about our borough’s outdoor concert series[es], replete with soap opera-like story arcs, is not unlike being on that trippy boat ride through Wonka-land.

 

Photo by nolastname.

Smokers’ rights advocates gathered on the Brighton Beach section of the Riegelmann Boardwalk on Saturday to protest the city’s latest smoking ban, affecting parks, beaches, boardwalks, marinas and other Parks Department-owned properties.

“It’s just another day at the beach, friends getting together, in the great outdoors where it can’t possibly hurt anyone,” said Audrey Silk, the founder of Citizens Lobbying Against Smoker Harassment (C.L.A.S.H.), which organized the smoke-in.

Officials “have lied to everybody. There’s absolutely no scientific evidence that smoking outdoors is hurting anyone,” she said. “The one study they hold up gives you the half truth … the author of that study said that if you’re six feet away from a smoker, or upwind, your exposure is zero. [Legislators] have preferred to rescind our civil liberties rather than walk away. What a tyranny we’re living under now.”

About 20 people came from as far as the Bronx to protest the ban by lighting up on the boardwalk in front of news crews, but no police or Parks Enforcement patrols came to enforce the ban. That’s not to say the event went off without a snag, though. A small group of 16-year-olds was already at the location smoking cigarettes when the protesters arrived. C.L.A.S.H. asked them not to join the protest, to no avail.

Silk, a Manhattan Beach native, said she chose to hold her protest in Brooklyn because it has a “completely different attitude” than Manhattan, which fails to represent them, and she chose Brighton Beach in particular because of a Daily News letter-to-the-editor from a Russian resident who, in reference to the smoking ban, said she escaped persecution in the Soviet Union to enjoy such freedoms. Another protester, Anthony Bianco, claimed that Brighton Beach has the largest number of smokers per capita in all of New York City.

“Hey Ned, when are you going to start a site to cover Bensonhurst?” Today! Check out Bensonhurst Bean: Bensonhurst’s Premiere News Blog.

Believe it or not, we got asked that question a lot. Many of our readers live there, following Sheepshead Bites because it’s the closest place they can turn to for online coverage of things going on in the region. Bensonhurst is a hugely diverse and populous neighborhood so totally under-reported and under-represented by media - with almost no coverage in the city press and only one weekly paper with small circulation – Bensonhurst and the surrounding areas need news just like Sheepshead Bay did before we launched Sheepshead Bites.

We’re proud to introduce Bensonhurst Bean, our first expansion into another neighborhood.

Bensonhurst Bean will follow a similar blend of original reporting and features, reader contributions and cultivated online content that Sheepshead Bites is now known for. But it’ll have a uniquely Bensonhurst voice, led by our resident blogger Joe Teutonico (and with contributions from BKSouthie.com’s Brian Hedden). Joe, Brian and a handful of other contributors will be exploring all the issues relevant to Bensonhurst residents, from politics and news to crime, business and real estate. This is a community steeped in history, and full of complex, colorful characters. It’s of similar size and demographics as Sheepshead Bay, and faces similar issues of development, congestion and challenges to small businesses, but has its own unique twists that we will flesh out and explore in our coverage.

It’s a truly proud moment for us to announce this launch, and we hope you’ll show your support by following the Bean on Facebook, Twitter and by e-mail (and don’t forget to share it with your friends!)

The Cymbro-Mobile — coming soon to a library near you!

If you are a constituent of Assemblyman Steven Cymbrowitz’s, and hiking over to his community office in Sheepshead Bay is a bit too much of a schlep for you, fret no more, as the Southern Brooklyn pol’s mobile community office will spend a couple of hours, from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m., June 3 at the Midwood branch of the Brooklyn Public Library, 975 East 16th Street.

At press time, we do not have word if Cymbrowitz, hisownself, will be in the Cymbro-Mobile, but we do have it on good authority that members of his staff will be on hand inside the unit, happy to talk with local residents about any concerns and/or issues they may wish to discuss. According to his press spokesperson, Oswalt Heyman, the assemblyman “tries to get to the mobile district office as often as his schedule allows.”

Stay tuned, friends — the intrepid assemblyman’s mobile community office may soon be visiting your neighborhood next, and when it does, you can count on Sheepshead Bites to bring it to you first.

For more, call (718) 743-4078.

It has been almost a year since we announced that an unnamed “beer garden” would be opening up in the basement of the commercial building at 30 Dooley Street, but we’ve just discovered that it will be the latest outpost of the locally-owned Draft Barn.

Find out more about the Sheepshead Bay Draft Barn, and view more photos of the interior.

Well, it’s not Monday. It’s not even Tuesday. It’s Open Thread Wednesday!

We had such a great weekend, relaxing out in Long Island for part of it, partying at local bars for the other part, and just enjoying the good weather – that the Open Thread seemed like too much work to get into in the beginning of the week.

I mean, really, posting up some blathering nonsense really takes a lot out of you.

So, what did you do for Memorial Day weekend? Any good barbecuing? Perhaps on Manhattan Beach?

Oh, we went there…

Comptroller John Liu stopped by the Community Board 15 meeting last night (more on that later), and then swung by Roll-N-Roaster to grab a bite to eat.

Apparently, the city’s auditor-in-chief is a big fan of the “juicy” roast beef sandwich. He said it’s the best perk of coming to the area (one of his security guys hails from the hood).

We’d say it was very gracious of Liu to allow us to photograph him chowing down (and, really, we were pretty annoying about it), but I think it all fell into place when we said the fastest way to get voters in Sheepshead Bay is to be seen eating at Roll-N-Roaster.

You paying attention Brennan & Carr? Because, very soon, Liu might “audit” your roast beef.

Top Brgr, the new burger joint we told you back in March was coming to 2267 Emmons Avenue, officially began welcoming customers and serving up delicious dead cows this past Friday.

With dozens of tables arranged outdoors, balloons lining the block, and an interior that was packed with prospective clientele and hustling employees, it looked like owners Steve Rakhmanov and Ron Raykin were having a successful first day – though they barely had time to talk to us.

Rakhmanov and Raykin are both Sheepshead Bay raised, and Raykin also co-owns OPM Lounge at 32o2 Emmons Avenue.

We had only one question for the duo: what do you think of these local-yokels who say the area needs a Five Guys Burgers And Fries? The answer? We’re classier than that.

“[Top Brgr is] better quality food. You could say we’re an upscale Five Guys,” Raykin said. “The class of people in this area is more in a Top Brgr range than a Five Guys range.”

I’m not one to judge classiness, but I will say this: Top Brgr offers caviar as a burger topping. Five Guys, you’re starting to look like the Old Navy of the burger industry.

Façade of 47 Bay 26th Street in Bath Beach. Source: Google Maps

File this one under “Really Dumb Things That You Should Never Do.”

The name of a man, who scaled the roof of his Bath Beach building, and then fell four stories as he tried to get into his locked apartment, is being withheld by police, and that’s probably a good thing (just think of his damaged pride!), because, unless you are Peter Parker, Phillippe Petit or Harry Houdini, recklessly climbing building roofs will almost always end in someone getting very badly hurt, or worse.

The 30-year-old resident of 47 Bay 26th Street, who is incredibly lucky to be alive, was rushed in critical condition to Lutheran Medical Center by the FDNY after attempting to climb through his window by repelling from the building using an electrical cable.

The New York Post reports that, minutes after the man hit the pavement, a roommate of the victim’s, identified at Tomas Chan, ran up to a Post photographer to tell him that he was the roommate and that he, too, was locked out of his apartment.

“We heard a loud thump and went outside into the yard and saw a guy on the ground. He was groaning and moaning. I told him to stay still, that the ambulance was on its way,” said neighbor Dorothy Nation.

A painful lesson learned the hard way.