SHEEPSHEAD BAY'S ONLY INDEPENDENT NEWS BLOG

While stereotypes packed the dance floor, producers downstairs fought for a unique identity

Anastasia Kurinnaya, shod in a pair of black Aldo booties with five-inch heels, stepped carefully down the 10 rickety plywood stairs that led from the coat check into the grimy basement of Passion, a popular Russian dance club on Coney Island Avenue in Brooklyn.

…

Ms. Kurinnaya, 25, said she had been anxiously waiting all week for this moment. She wanted to get on the show to make her ex-boyfriend jealous.

“If I hook up with somebody I can throw it in his face,” she said.

At 11 p.m. on Saturday, Ms. Kurinnaya was the first person plucked out of Passion’s swelling crowd and led downstairs.

By 4:00 a.m., nearly four dozen other young Russian-Americans charmed, pleaded or simply shoved their way into the audition, determined to prove that the Russian version of Snooki or The Situation can outdo his or her Guido counterpart.

…

The creators of “Brighton Beach” said their show is not exactly a rip-off of “Jersey Shore,” or any other reality show.

“We’re trying to portray what goes on inside the Russian community and to expose people, introduce people, to what Russians are really like,” said Elina Miller, 25, who, along with Alina Dizik and Christine Mahin, is one of the show’s producers.

“Russians have a place in pop culture,” Ms. Miller said. “But it’s not necessarily a realistic or true portrayal. I realized that the best way to break down these stereotypes was through a show.”

- “How Do You Say ‘Jersey Shore’ in Russian?“, New York Times; March 11, 2010

Let me start by saying that you should read the above Times piece in full. It’s well-written, got a lot of great quotes, and they included some audio interviews that are pretty amusing. But when you’re done, come back here.

Now, that you’ve read it, let me tell you this: it’s a fun read, but it misses the point. Every media outlet in the world (including us when we broke the story) portrayed this as the “Russian Jersey Shore” with outlandish characters, over-the-top stereotypes, and regurgitated mouthfuls of Snookie and The Situation with a borscht aftertaste.

And that’s what’s wrong with the Times piece. Despite the producers’ insistence that it ain’t no Jersey Shore-remake, media-types everywhere are contradicting them with cherry-picked examples of the shlubs who reinforce the Jersey Shore narrative. Because, hell, that’s a lot funnier to write about. But is it better to watch?

At Saturday’s casting call, I got a different sense of what Brighton Beach can be. Producers Elina Miller and Alina Dizik are fighting an uphill battle to distance themselves from Jersey Shore’s putrid stigma while still feeding off its popularity.

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With the influx of Sheepshead’s latest liquor establishments, Sheepshead Bay’s thirst for a frosty brew need not be quenched.

Senators Marty Golden (R) of Bay Ridge (aka the bar capital of Brooklyn) and Sheepshead’s Steven Cymbrowitz (D) fearing the decline of the mom-and-pop liquor store and the heightened teen accessibility to booze, united the unlikely pair in an effort to oppose Governor Paterson’s proposal to “legalize win sales in 19,000 new outlets.”

Although no one can predict how fast the Bay would be running to 7-11 for an ‘85 Merlot, is there any real reason to increase the amount of places one can buy alcohol to begin with? According to the World Health Organization, 1.8 million deaths a year are attributed to alcohol usage, 1/3 of that alone being accidental. That’s not to mention the staggering rates of drunk driving in Sheepshead Bay.

With the State Liquor Authority having “only 38 inspectors statewide regulating 70,000 license holders,” Cymbrowitz notes that “To increase the inspection team’s workload by almost one-third is a recipe for disaster.”

We can already buy beer in corner stores and grocery stores have a less than humble selection of beer and prepackaged frou-frou drinks. Maybe a staggering four blocks seems like a ways away up in Albany, but down by the bay, our cup runneth over. Enough already.

Related articles:
Cymbrowitz Blasts Gov On New Booze Plan
Sheepshead Bay Is Sauced

So instead of working on news stories for the week, I got swept up writing Facebook updates of little fun facts about our nation’s presidents. I’ve compiled them below for your amusement. Happy President’s Day everyone!

• Thomas Jefferson was the first president to shake hands with guests. Previously, people bowed. We can all thank him for religious freedom, the Library of Congress, and our increased risk of swine flu.
• James Monroe bought Florida. He was also the first president to ride around in a steamboat. Then he told Europe that the US had dibs on all the Americas, and any claim opposing that would be met with a karate chop. Essentially, James Monroe was America’s first Steven Seagall.
• James Madison was the first president to wear pants. Before him, they wore knee breeches. Strangely, schools baring his name have trouble employing people who can keep their pants on.
• James Polk is the only president to score seven states in a single treaty.
• President Lincoln’s wife, Mary Todd, had brothers who fought in the Confederate Army, reminding us that it’s okay to hate your in-laws now and then.
• While president, Ulysses S. Grant was arrested for driving his horse too fast and was fined $20. I’m not sure on this, but I think he muttered “F’ing Bloomberg.”
• President Chester Arthur was a man-about-town. He entertained lavishly and often, and enjoyed going to nightclubs. Arthur told a prohibition group that called on him at the White House, “I may be President of the United States, but my private life is my own damn business.” Apparently, Arthur may have been the last president to have balls.
• President Taft weighed 332 lbs and got stuck in the White House bathtub. He was also the first to authorize federal income taxes. The second fact makes it okay for us to make fun of him for the first fact.
• President Coolidge was once punched in the eye by the mayor of Boston, reconfirming the fact that the people from that city are a bunch of asses.
• President Truman’s mother, a Confederate sympathizer, refused to sleep in Lincoln’s bed during a White House visit. The ghost of Lincoln didn’t mind one bit.
• Dwight David Eisenhower was actually born David Dwight Eisenhower. He changed it to sound more ethnic.
• Jimmy Carter was the first president born in a hospital, spurring the long-standing political maxim: “The public doesn’t like presidents born in hospitals.”
• George W. Bush lost the popular vote to Al Gore by 500,000 votes. This one isn’t funny, sorry.

All factual information courtesy of Little Known Facts. All humor courtesy of my funny bone.

Courtesy of the NYS Senate

Sheepshead Bay State Senator Carl Kruger is once again getting panned by the city press for his money magic.

Back in November he invited a storm of criticism for holding up the budget process and nearly putting the state in bankruptcy. The Penguin – err, the senator came up with a number of ludicrous schemes to fill state coffers, and more than once insisted that the deficit just didn’t exist.

Well, now the NY Post has caught him spending taxpayer money with one hand while using the other to give the finger to Governor Paterson for not, uh, stopping senators from spending taxpayer money.

Kruger was caught pissing away $31 million in an unfunded entitlement that would cap rent costs for New York City HIV/AIDS victims at 30 percent of their income. A good purpose, for sure, but still a $31 million sinkhole wrought with hypocrisy by our good senator:

But what makes this bit of frivolity especially rich is that only last month, Kruger insisted that Paterson wasn’t going far enough in combating such [unfunded] mandates, saying: “It seems illogical [that] the governor is so unwilling to end unfunded mandates once and for all, and is instead content with a temporary moratorium.”

So how does Kruger square that stance with his support of, well, a new unfunded mandate?

Easy: The bill, he says, won’t cost a dime.

…

[Advocates of the bill say] the entire cost will be offset by money the city and state no longer need to spend relocating HIV/AIDS patients who can’t pay their rent into emergency housing.

Yet, according to OTDA, that sum runs to barely $4 million a year.

Even if that’s a lowball figure, it’s a great deal less than $31 million.

While the aim of the new mandate is inarguably good, our lawmakers are required to figure out fundraising schemes to cover costs. Kruger – one of the most powerful senators as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee – is way too lazy for that. In fact, we can’t figure out how a guy who fails at every turn to think about the economic consequences of his actions and seems to lack any basic math skills became the chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. Kruger’s continued electability (and he’s sure to be reelected) is an ongoing reminder of how truly F’d New York State politics are.

Every now and then, when I’m working on those longer complex stories none of you want to read, I really wish I had a venue to explain to people what’s going through my head. Many people view the news as a collection of objective, infallible facts cobbled together by some indifferent reporter. News is the Truth, and any deviation from it is the result of a reporter’s bias or agenda.

Here’s a little industry secret: 99.9 percent of the news you read is somewhere in the middle. Where we as reporters screw up is in our constant insistence that every story is a factual, accurate representation of reality. Our frequently repeated commitment to the Truth.

For anyone who’s ever been the subject of a story, you know exactly what the response to that is: bullshit.

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What is up with Chase Bank? Is it just me or is it spreading like a virus through the city?

Everywhere I turn in Sheepshead Bay and the surrounding area is another Chase Bank. Normally this might be considered a good thing, but I don’t think so. It was bad enough that Chase took over every Washington Mutual location when the FDIC handed the company to them. The logical assumption was that Chase would consolidate all their accounts, merge the staff together, and close locations that overlapped with another store. Boy was I wrong! Not only did they assimilate every location, they’re opening new ones!

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Below is an e-mail exchange I had with a reader today regarding the controversial plans to build a mosque at 2812/2814 Voorhies Avenue (and here). The reader believed I reported on the issue with a preconceived opinion that supported the plans to build. In reality, the situation is more complicated, and I caution against any knee-jerk responses in any direction. I’m publishing these letters because in my conversations, people who were against the mosque couldn’t believe that I’d defend it, while people who were for it couldn’t believe that we thought the opposition was anything more than racist. I believe the letters below explain, at least in part, the thought process guiding our coverage. I welcome your input.

Continue reading to see the letters >>

What makes Sheepshead Bay special? It’s just not the number of sushi bars or gourmet delis. Need a hint? Think waterfront.

But is it good for anything other than a nice view from overpriced condos? Some people in Congress think so.

Introduced to Congress in May of 2009, Keep America’s Waterfronts Working (KAWW) Act of 2009 protects coastal area economies by securing indispensable funds for preserving and expanding waterfront access. As an amendment to the  Coastal Zone Management Act of 1972, KAWW directs the Secretary of Commerce, acting through the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), to establish a Working Waterfront Grant Program. The program allows states to request grants, through a regionally equitable, competitive funding process, to secure access for persons engaged in commercial fishing, recreational fishing, aquaculture, boatbuilding, or other water-dependent coastal-related business. It would also allow a non-profit group to obtain a grant to buy development rights in order to keep a working boatyard in business, rather than see it sold for residential development.

In short, KAWW will give give fuel to local governments around the nation to rethink their waterfront strategies.

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Courtesy of BK Southie

In the following screed, Brian Hedden argues for reclaiming the term “South Brooklyn” for the part of Brooklyn that’s actually… you know… south. The post was originally published on his blog BK Southie. Short and to the point, I think it’s something all “Southern Brooklynites” ought to read.

Streetsblog commenter “kapes” on a bicycling thread last month:

I don’t know why I have to be such a stickler.

But it is such a common mistake I have to say something.

“South Brooklyn” is an area of Brooklyn close to downtown.

It is called this because it was south of the original (and quite small) city of Brooklyn. It includes Red Hook, Gowanus, Cobble Hill etc.

Mill Basin, Marine Park, Gerritsen Beach etc. are in southern Brooklyn.

You know, I usually make that distinction myself, but quite frankly, I’m a little tired of it. I blame Wikipedia for reinforcing this A-in-history-F-in-geography mentality. I mean, listen to this drivel.

South Brooklyn is a region or composite neighborhood in the New York City borough of Brooklyn, encompassing areas of Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, Red Hook, Gowanus, Park Slope, and Boerum Hill… The somewhat historic name of South Brookyn has been revived in recent years to foster a closer connection among the constituent communities, though the name has always been popular nomenclature for the neighborhood’s locals… [no, don't stop there, here comes my favorite part] This hilly area is not to be confused with the actual flat southern region of the modern borough of Brooklyn…

Let me see… an area called South Brooklyn that’s not actually in, y’know, South Brooklyn – why would that be confusing? But hey, for those of us that noticed Brooklyn grew out of its onesie and into its big boy pants some 150 years ago, I propose the following revision.

South Brooklyn is the section of Brooklyn that takes its name from its location south of other parts of Brooklyn, and is not north of any other part of Brooklyn.

For archaic uses of South Brooklyn, see North Brooklyn.

Respect my geographah!

We at Sheepshead Bites are considering making the permanent switch to calling our territory South Brooklyn. Damn the hipsters and the yuppies. We know common sense down here, and South Brooklyn ought to be the part of Brooklyn that is south. What do you think?

The city has announced an initiative to eradicate 25 percent of salt from nearly all food products sold within the five boroughs. According to the Daily News, cereals, pretzels, potato chips, and canned vegetables, as well as fast-food favorites like fried shrimp and pizza, will be most affected by the changes. Though compliance is voluntary for now, companies are being asked to make the reductions by 2014 and several have already agreed. New York City officials expect that the initiative will have national implications as food providers change their recipes country wide. Salt companies have turned sour on the announcement, depicting it as the city’s attempt to “nanny the nation.”

Sheepshead Bites’ take?

First they came for the cigarettes, and I did not speak out—because I was not a smoker;
Then they came for the trans fatty acids, and I did not speak out—because I was not a McDonald’s patron;
Then they came for the salt, and I did not speak out—because I did not eat Lay’s;
Then they came for the booze—and it didn’t matter, since there was nothing left to eat or smoke when I drank.

(I dare you to come up with a better punchline.)