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Late last night we told everyone we were making it our goal to reach 1,000 Facebook friends by next week. Well, lo and behold, the desperate goons over at GerritsenBeach.net declared war on us, betting they could reach 1,000 Facebook followers first!
HELP US BEAT GERRITSENBEACH.NET TO THE GOAL OF 1,000 FACEBOOK FOLLOWERS!
Readers, there has been no more important fight against tyranny since America spat in the face of King Charles II.
SHEEPSHEAD, REPRESENT! BE OUR FACEBOOK FRIEND!
What a crazy weekend, right? On top of the storm, I had a whole bunch of stuff going on, and barely scratched the surface of my “To-Do” list. So I’m not going to spend much time preparing some long-winded open thread for y’all like I usually do.
Instead, I’ll leave you to do what you do with the open thread.
Oh, and the gallery of the weekend storm’s damage will be up later today. My request for photos is STILL receiving so many responses that it’s been overwhelming. (FYI: You can e-mail photos and video to nberke [at] sheepsheadbites.com or upload them to Facebook and tag them “Sheepshead Bites”)
A parting glance. (Photo courtesy of nolastname)
Well, everyone, by now you must have heard all about the Belt Parkway roadwork. The traffic has been horrendous around here, because of all the construction.
It’s driving me batty. The other day, I felt like flinging myself into the oncoming traffic, but then I figured it wasn’t nice to get others involved in my Heavenly plan. So, I abandoned the plan and plotted my big escape. Here I am about to wander into the Flatbush woods for good.
Goodbye, traffic. Goodbye, all.
This is Sheepshead Bites’ 1000th article.
Wow, I really thought we’d be hitting this milestone with a little more substance. But no, just an open thread.
Need something to riff off of for your ranting? Here are a few ideas:
- The Oscars (Hurt Locker blew. There, I said it.)
- Garbage pickup on Sheepshead Bay’s major avenues (It was particularly bad this weekend.)
- We’re going to reorganize the site’s sidebar, with different features for when you’re reading the front page or a specific article. Anything you want to see in the sidebar while we’re working on it?
- Got a Facebook account? Go and put in your guess about my age. No one has gotten it yet, but some are closer than others.
- Are we finally done with the snow? Well, the next 10 days looks clear.
- Speaking of weather (and our sidebar) – would a weather and/or traffic status box in the sidebar be useful?
- By the way, have you set Sheepshead Bites as your homepage yet? You should do that.
There’s no shortage of complaints from our readers about the flagrant splattering of our sidewalks with dog shit. Complaints about crap on the streets are followed closely by complaints about those morons who actually make the effort to pick it up, and then chuck their non-biodegradable shopping bags full of shit under cars and elsewhere. (The tied up plastic, of course, slows the crap from decomposing, almost as if these jackasses are attempting to preserve the poop’s pestering of the public.)
Well, over at the blog Fucked in Park Slope, they’re offering up a solution to hunt-down and round-up these shmucks: a dog crap DNA database.
“I’m proposing that every dog owner have it’s dog’s DNA put in a huge database so that a sample of any unpicked-up turd will yield the offender who should then be made to lick the entire street is was found on. just saying.”
Write your councilmember now.
Overturned shopping cart, Summer 2009. (Photo courtesy of Lisanne Anderson)
Many of you have just about had it with winter. I never cared for the warm weather, just because people seem to think that they can drag me out into the streets with their groceries. In the winter, they’re less likely to do that. So, if you’re one of those who are seriously looking forward to the coming of the warm weather, think of what happened to me.
Last summer, I had an accident. A shopper was pushing me stacked high — watermelon perched right on top –away from my supermarket home to their own home. I tried to tell him by squeaking my wheels that I wasn’t built to travel on city streets — but this guy wouldn’t listen to me.
As I was rolling down Gravesend Neck Road, the load became too much for me and I started to lean. Next thing I knew, I was on my side and the man who “borrowed” me from the supermarket just stood there. The road was very narrow due to the MTA station construction, so the cars couldn’t avoid running right over the cargo. I may not have a brain, but the sounds that watermelon made when it was being squashed sure made me feel what it must be like to have a brain.
Because of a serious limp I now have, they just keep me in the store holding cans of caviar. Gets a little boring, but sure beats being rolled out into the street where I don’t belong.
You can wish for summer all you want. I’ll be sitting under the A/C unit.
“These birds violated the housing code and clearly did not have the occupancy permit.
Anyways Ned, this is complete drivel and hardly newsworthy.”
- Alex on NYC DOT Murders Babies
When I was but a wee boy, I taught myself HTML from a book my brother bought me. I had my first website when I was 12. I taught myself about journalism – though later I went to school and received my bachelor’s in it.
While abroad, I taught myself Spanish, though that was by necessity. At first I hated it, and demanded everyone learn English. I also taught myself how to teach (though I’d never compare myself to a true school teacher) and began giving English classes while traveling.
Painting was another thing I taught myself, one that made me good money back in the day.
I like learning new things.
Apparently I’ve been doing this a long time. My parents say that I potty-trained myself, which I’m sure was a relief to them. And I also read before they knew I could. My first piece of literature was a pamphlet on fertilization. My mother was a Lamaze teacher, and I picked up the mail one day and read to her about sperm crashing into eggs, detaching their tails and, behold, the zygote. They gave me a quiz afterwards.
Continue Reading »
Shopping cart in need of rescue.
I can’t be sure about this, but I think this building at Sheepshead Bay Road and East 16th Street used to be the H & R Block office.
I was kidnapped and brought here to help with the office cleanup. That explains the toilet paper and the paper towels that I’m loaded up with. The big question is: why are they even bothering cleaning this dump up, anyway? The last I heard this entire strip is set to be demolished by Acadia management. They’re just waiting for Citibank two doors down to vacate and the whole place is going to be razed. Anyway, that’s the word we’re getting behind these bars.
If anyone on the outside knows more, let me know. I’m loaded with some of the finest fluffy, white stuff you’ve ever seen (known by the street names of Charmin and Bounty) and as soon as you load me up in the getaway truck, I’ll hook you up real good.
… like, a lot.
Enjoy your open thread. You know the deal.
