Nevermind that tasteful sunlight sliver or the leather couches. It’s really about that air purifier. (Source: City Solutions)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup is a new feature showcasing some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com. And if you live in or near one the places below, let neighbors know what you think in the comments.

Two Luxury Bedrooms in Brighton Beach
Price: $3,300
Location: Brighton 1 Road
Description: The keyword here is ocean. Not one for subtlety, this realtor capitalizes ocean all four times that it’s mentioned in this waterfront apartment. And just to spice it up, there’s an all caps terrace thrown in there. There’s everything in here that you would expect from a luxury apartment, including some used toothbrushes in the bathroom (who knows what else is used in there). And there is also OCEAN, BIG OCEAN.
Contact: Yuliya Lekh, City Solutions, (917) 482-0243

One Bedroom and a Realtor Bursting With Enthusiasm in Midwood
Price: $1,699
Location: 1525 East 14th Street
Description: You have to wonder (well, you don’t actually have to do anything in this world despite what they tell you) why realtors sometimes choose to take pictures of apartments in the middle of renovations. But the apartment is presumably ready for you now. It has a lot of closet space and all new kitchen appliances. The realtor also leaves you with this assessment (translated for clarity since this realtor invokes the writing style of the last chapter of Ulysses): “Very rare vacancy in this building. Not many apartments this around these days. AWESOME LOCATION.”
Contact: Chase Pinter, NY Standard Realty, (718) 702-4807

One “Upgraded” Bedroom in Sheepshead Bay
Price: $1,400
Location: East 16th Street, off Emmons Avenue
Description: No, we’re not talking about Megaman and his “enhancement capsule” to give you that extra super charge. What we have here is a bedroom that’s been upgraded from whatever into something. Get it? Me either. There’s also a laundry room in the building so you can “upgrade” your clothes.
Contact: Michael Merola, Citi Habitats, (917) 892-6664

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

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