Brighton Beach Brooklyn NO FEE

This “fantasy one bedroom” has a damn sexy kitchen. (Source: Apts and Lofts)

Looking for a new place to call home? Sheepshead Bites has got you covered. Our rental roundup is a new feature showcasing some of the deals on the market now. If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com. And if you live in or near one the places below, let neighbors know what you think in the comments.

One Bedroom Speaks in First Person
Price: $1,300
Location: Avenue Z and East 14th Street
Description: It really doesn’t get any better than this. The boisterous apartment refers to himself (or maybe herself) as being freshly painted and then writes, “Come check me out today.” Even better, the apartment building also has a personality and seems to have had a turbulent past because the apartment is “stabilized” on, presumably, something like Xanax; or, if he’s a little old school, Lithium. Poor thing. Call these two even if you’re not interested. They need the attention. Just watch out for the fee, in which the representative just wrote “yesyesyesyesyes.” Interesting sales pitch.
Contact: (347) 260-5418

Three Bedrooms and a Couch
Price: $2,000
Location: 1905 Avenue S
Description: This apartment has many things to offer. There’s an elementary school nearby if you have any kids. But if you don’t, maybe you’re into opera and have always dreamed of living near a museum dedicated to the operatic tenor Enrico Caruso. And with such a refined taste, you’ll want to negotiate the ownership of the rococo furniture included in the photos for this posting.
Contact: Connexion Real Estate, (718) 845-1136

Fantasy One Bedroom
Price: $1,580
Location: 3052 Brighton 1st Street
Description: Do you like “blueberry blintzes, balmy breezes, and the boardwalk”? Or spend your day in the “sun and sand”? With huge windows and a dishwasher, this apartment caters to all of your fat-cat appetites. Housemaids are not included. But the “tranquil resort lifestyle” necessary for this apartment begs the question: when are you working to afford this place and do “balmy breezes” last all year round or does that cost extra in the winter?
Contact: Joseph Adago, (917) 568-2758

If you know of a great place available for rent or are a broker representing a property you want included, contact nberke [at] sheepsheadbites [dot] com.

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  • brooklyndude

    I’m gonna start voting for RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH.

  • JustMe

    Would like to know what is a sexy kitchen. Can someone explain. It this so called sexy kitchen is dirty, would it still be considered sexy???????????????

    • http://www.sheepsheadbites.com/ Ned Berke

      If the sexy kitchen is dirty, it’s even sexier.