I got Chinese food this weekend. My fortune cookie said “’Welcome’ is a powerful word.”
I got angry and crushed the cookie and crumpled the fortune and threw it all on the little plate with the little pineapple bits.
That’s not a fortune. Neither is the one I have pinned on my wall that says “Have a nice day.” And neither is the one I keep in my wallet that says, “Hallelujah!”
Come on, buddy. Remember the days when fortune cookies had real fortunes in it? They might not have been profound, but they at least kept up to their names.
It has been years since I’ve gotten a fortune cookie with a real fortune. And now, in 2012, I’m finally realizing why that is. And the answer, I think, is because it’s 2012. And Dick Clark died. And the world ends this year. And so we have no fortunes to tell.
Well played, fortune cookie makers. Well played.