Psha, screw Nathan’s. The real competitive eating challenge this year is right here in Sheepshead Bay, this Saturday, when Cupcake Kings hosts their first annual cupcake eating contest.

Competitors, on your mark, because you’re going to have 10 minutes to jam as many deviously frosted dough-loafs into your mouth as you can. We’re not really sure what’s standard here, but we’ve found at least one report of professional eaters cramming down a whopping 42 cupcakes in eight minutes, so we’re hoping the winner at least gets past 10.

Enter Jim Ryan. As one of the event’s sponsors, Sheepshead Bites was offered the chance to pick a contestant to represent the website. We brought in Jim, a local resident and leader of the award-winning competitive barbecue team Beer Belly Porkers. That’s right, we signed on a man who knows steaks and ribs because, what the hell, cupcakes are for wussies. Also, it’s going to be really funny to see him wearing Cupcake Kings’ pink shirt.

The winner of the competition, which we’re pretty sure will be Jim, gets a trophy, a $100 gift card and a Cupcake Kings gift certificate. Second place gets a trophy and Cupcake Kings gift certificate. All contestants get a t-shirt.

The event kicks off at 12:00 p.m. in front of the store at 1613 Voorhies Avenue. There will be music, giveaways and more for those who come to watch.

Come root for Jim!

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  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

    Psha? Are we reinventing the English language? Noah Webster is going to be pissed.

    We always put a ‘w’ at the end.

    • http://www.nedberke.com Ned Berke

      You know what I have to say about his attitude? Psha!

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

        You know dead people have the worst attitudes and demeanors.

        • http://www.flickr.com/knightmare6 Knightmare6

          Bad hygiene too!

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

            That’s why I hate going to funerals.

          • Eminem

            Always go to other peoples’ funerals, or else they won’t come to yours…

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

            To quote from a scholarly artilce written in Issue 5 of “The Annihilation Fountain”

            The intelligence of the moral dimension of a social gestus, such as a
                  funeral, is very solidly articulated here. Let start with the defunct
                  himself or herself and let apply to him or her the Klingon motto on death:
                  he or she is an empty shell now. He or she should be treated as such.
                  Materialist to the bones, Yogi understands here that funerals are not
                  funeral for the defunct. The defunct is as stiff as the wood of the
                  coffin. The genuine dimension of any participation to a funeral is the
                  formulation of compassion toward the family of the defunct. In that logic
                  other people’s funeral is to be interpreted as the meeting or wake of the
                  peers of a certain defunct, and yours is to be interpreted as the same
                  ceremony in which you are peer yourself. The focus on the stiffs, that
                  perverted common sense evidence, is totally avoided here. Now the claim is
                  that that type of event is painful enough that, in good moral, we have to
                  make the effort to participate to the one that afflicts the others so that
                  the others will reciprocate and come to the one where our own affliction
                  is expressed. It is only for the ones who believe that funerals does not
                  heal the living but involves the deads, that the present aphorism sounds
                  like an abrupt absurdity. 

            Makes sense to me, but then again, to paraphrase Yogi, Half the things I know I don’t know at all.

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

            Here’s a link. The article is fascinating.

            http://www.njmac.ca/taf/issue5/yogibera.htm

        • http://www.flickr.com/knightmare6 Knightmare6

          Bad hygiene too!

  • superhero

    if only their cupcakes are good. They have disgusting cupcakes.

    Little cupcake shop in bayridge is the best

    • superhero

       were good*

      • Barkingspider7

        Little cupcake – way too sweet and too much gloppy icing

  • Ray Johnson

    What are they going to do with the traffic on Voorhies and the visitors spilling out onto the streets with all that traffic on the way to the Belt?
    As long as it’s safe to watcg, this is going to be great.

  • Kon

    First Place: Diabetes 

  • http://twitter.com/nicktherat Nick the Rat

    I just heard a million tears of diabetics hitting the floor

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

    If Jim wins, what does Sheepshead Bites get besides bragging rights?

    • http://www.nedberke.com Ned Berke

      What more do I need?

  • JR

    how do I go about entering this?

    • Allure224

      Reach out to Cupcake Kings at 718-513-44747

  • http://twitter.com/nauticalstar Janelle

    I’m sure half the vultures from Saturday night would be glad to partake in this.

  • Anonymous Bluffer

    how does this place stay open? the cupcakes suck… compared to a real cupcake place like Crumbs Bakery… Russians just don’t know anything about cupcakes apparently