Unplowed Poetry: A Question To Bloomie


Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! I introduce to you the Bard of Bungle, the Minstrel of Malfeasance, the Dilettante of Dissent… nolastname!

Up late last night, and truly feeling the winter of her discontent, nolastname penned the following poem in tribute to the many neighbors so similarly screwed by the city this week. Nolastname has asked me to point out that she does “not even attempt to think I have writing abilities,” but I only bother passing that along because it makes the following all that more impressive.

And with no further ado…

“A Question to Bloomie”

People driving around looking for a spot,
Folks shoveling themselves out.

A Mayor who is worth squat
Has people wearing a pout.

When did it begin,
What will we do?

This treatment is a sin,
Politicians sniffing glue.

The blame is the big spot,
Control has been done, not!

All there is is “We.”
How can that be?
A question to Bloomie.

  • Haikus for Fair Borough Plowing:

    Did you see a plow?
    Brooklyn: oh you snow mirage
    You’re not the city

    2010 was cold
    not as icy as the shaft
    that we were given

    Bloomberg: Repay us!
    Get Snoopy Snow Cone Makers…
    Yes. For everyone.

    • OMG, it’s a creative revolution.

  • Creativity springs from discontent with a foibles and ill behavior of those who would be King.

    I predict a very successful career for nolastname. Bloomberg alone provides a fertile field of inspiration for future works.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, he will be my first subject.

    • Anonymous

      Can you title this one for me.

      this poem is for you mike
      i’d like to speak about you taking a hike
      you are not an honest selfless man
      i’d like to ask you to take a leap off a span
      from the less fortunate all you do is take-take-take
      make me happy and jump in a lake
      there are people with no bread
      please can you put a gun to your head
      Sheepshead Bay i hold very dear
      why not visit and jump off a pier.

      • “Precipice” I think that title fits.

        • nolastname

          Damn, now I have to add falling off a cliff. LOL

          • Oh no, The title does that. It’s what comes into people’s minds immediately upon hearing the word “precipice”.

      • nolastname

        So happy to see this (from 5 years ago), Sad it still holds true.

  • My creative addition (to the tune of “Send in the Clowns”)

    Aren’t you rich?
    Why don’t you care?
    We here stuck in Brooklyn,
    Are in despair.
    Send in the plows.

    Don’t just dismiss
    We don’t approve
    You who keeps shifting the blame,
    Us who can’t move.
    Where are the plows?
    Send in the plows.

    • levp


    • Anonymous

      Love it, can we do a video.

  • Anonymous

    Ok here is my second attempt..
    It needs a title…

    wednesday night
    lying in bed
    wishing our mayor dead
    too many scenes going through my head
    busy tone
    no response
    no answer
    no one home
    in an emergency you are not there
    i truly believe our mayor does not care
    no deliveries
    are we in prison
    or just living within him
    when they said
    and it went to my head
    no one went except through me
    i did not think it would be bloomie.

  • Animo916

    Here’s my Haiku…..

    It’s cold! and covered
    deep in white shit!
    The End.

    • nolastname


    • nolastname


  • NotAllbloomberg

    At first i was blaming Bloomberg, and he shares some blame. But let’s point the real blame at the Sanitation Department. It’s obvious to anyone who’s lived thru other blizzards that they executed the classic slowdown here. Three guys have anonymously come forth and corroborated my guess. Furthermore, I’m sure the MTA was complicit in this slowdown, abandoning buses at intersections. In what other blizzard did this ever happen? I hope there’s a criminal investigation, and i’d like to see results, instead of the usual whitewash of criminal activity of our public unions.

    • nolastname

      Nah, the piece of crap just didn’t put in the order.

  • J.P. Zenger

    Tonight Bloomy will be sworn in instead of Sworn at. He should take his private plane and fly to some warm place like Boston and not come back. We need a real Mayor not a Ceo. If he were a real Ceo, his board of Directors might, intelligently ask for his resignation. That is what I am asking for.

  • Pingback: How to Report About Snow « New York Hyperlocal()

  • nolastname

    Wow, 3+ years ago….time flies!

  • nolastname

    <3 this thread!