• Sheepshead Diner Becomes Test Scene For Gay Tolerance


    by on May 18th, 2010

    A still from the video segment. What diner is this, anyway?

    In an upcoming segment of ABC News’ “What Would You Do?”, patrons of a Sheepshead Bay diner witness gay couples harassed by a waiter. The staged intolerance is part of an experiment to see how locals react to the prejudice. The result? Well, apparently Sheepshead Bay doesn’t care for lesbians.

    Here’s the scene:

    While enjoying a bite to eat at a local diner, you overhear a waiter giving two women at the next table a hard time.

    “Are you sisters?” he asks them. “Are your husbands joining you?”

    At first, he just seems to be a nuisance but then he gets personal.

    “Oh, you’re lesbians?” he exclaims. “What about your kids? Don’t they need daddies?”

    The two women and their children are shocked and embarrassed. As they try to place an order, the waiter gets even more incensed and finally asks them to leave. As the family of four gets up to go, they catch your eye.

    What Would You Do?

    On first take, a local man got up and barked at the waiter, “You know what? … I don’t like it. I don’t believe in it. But as long as they’re not sitting there kissing while I’m sitting here with my daughter…”

    Sheesh… there are back-handed compliments, but can you give a back-handed civil rights defense?

    Still, this old man’s got better chops than other patrons of the unidentified diner. Take after take, and no one else stood up to defend the couple. According to the synopsis, “People said they didn’t get involved because they thought it wasn’t their business and the family could fend for themselves.”

    When the producers switched the couple out for a pair of gay men, several more people stood up in defense of the patrons. One couple, married for 20 years, joined the actors at their table and offered their support, even telling the waiter to “Turn around and walk away.”

    Granted, it’s a totally unscientific “experiment.” But Sheepshead Bay residents were disappointingly slow to protect the rights of gay couples, especially lesbians. Do you think this is typical of our neighborhood? What contributes to their reluctance to get involved? Do you think it would be the same if they did this in, say, Park Slope?

    The segment airs Wednesday, May 19, at 10 p.m. on ABC.

    Related posts

    Tags: , , , ,

    • http://twitter.com/arikatt Ari B.

      This makes me want to cry. Once for the idiocy, and twice for the personal sting. If I saw that kinda thing I'd give the waiter a piece of my mind, then if they refused to back down, mass boycott the place via social networks. But that's just me.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

      I'm afraid that if you played the same scene in a restaurant in Lower Manhattan there wouldn't be much of a difference. Maybe New Yorkers in general just put up psychological walls and ignore much of what goes on around them.

    • BrooklynBus

      Wonder what Senator Kruger would have done.

    • applegreen

      that dont look like greco. is there another diner in sheepshead?

    • winson

      i would step in. it is not right to ask people to leave, especially with my strong support and interest in lesbian pride. i learned in social psychology, though, that people do not like to help others in need for whatever reasons, whether they are selfish, in a rush, or think someone else will help and not care.

    • http://www.njluxurymotors.com Arthur Borko

      I've intervened in similar situations before and it's gotten me in trouble. I'd do it again. Especially if it was lesbians!

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

      Bystander effect. Doesn't have to be a life threatening situation for it to come into play.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulTmmTIlM_o

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

      In a perfect world no one would be subjected to abuse because of who they are. And in the real world most of the abuse is more subtle than this, but hurts just as much.

    • teefeb19

      I'm going to try to say this without coming off as insulting because I am a lesbian and would have come to their defense as well. I want to know why they saw fit to put the one woman in a suit and tie. We all don't dress that way. Was it so that it was obvious to the waiter? I think it was ridiculous and just more stereotyping which we don't need. Either way the waiter was wrong and should be fired and it really saddens me that no one came to their defense. I feel like we've moved backwards in a sense.

    • http://www.nedberke.com Ned Berke

      Actually, I think that's the man that came to their side and told the waiter to go away.

    • barbarafortune

      I need to know which diner it was. I am a straight woman and this behavior is very upsetting and unacceptable. Perhaps this is why Senator Kruger takes the stand he does. He knows that this neighborhood is a very conservative, intolerant area.

    • http://www.nedberke.com Ned Berke

      Just to be clear, the waiter and gay couples were all actors. This was a staged incident, and I doubt the staff of the diner actually treat people this way. Still – I want to know what diner that is just out of curiosity.

    • levp

      I wonder if the whole thing is a setup (including customers). It's that hard to believe.
      On the other hand, remember when some Jewish guy was attacked on the subway – who was the ONLY person to stand up for him? A Pakistani immigrant.
      So who knows – maybe the diner is real after all. Puts your understanding of our time and place to the test…

    • jo

      i think people dont get involved because it's none of their business and you don't know how far the situation will escalate because you decided to get involved. i was always taught to mind my own business because if i interfere i could put myself in danger of the situation if it were to escalate.

      i'm very careful when deciding whether to get involved in someone else's business. in this case, i don't see anything threatening. it's in public place, a private business, a decent neighborhood, and witnesses all around, so i would feel comfortable in getting involved and saying a thing or two to the waiter.

    • brightonresident

      First of this is a TV show called “What Would You Do?”. If you never watched it, they set up all kinds of scenarios to see if regular people will get involved. Which dinner it is is irrelevent, it is the actions of people that are important. Furthermore, if you would be afraid of getting directly involved, the do it indirectly– go to the manager.

    • barbarafortune

      You probably already know, it is El Greco. I feel I live in the wrong neighborhood, one more time. I discovered it when I was on the upper west side a few years ago on a Saturday night, They had more N Y Times at one bodega than are probably sold in this entire neighborhood.

    • barbarafortune

      You probably already know, it is El Greco. I feel I live in the wrong neighborhood, one more time. I discovered it when I was on the upper west side a few years ago on a Saturday night, They had more N Y Times at one bodega than are probably sold in this entire neighborhood.