Luxury Watch: If James Bond Were A Doctor…


by on May 10th, 2010

Nothing says luxury like wooden teeth

We’ve already pointed out the marketing trend in our area that labels any piece o’ junk “luxury.” There was the luxury condo that, well, wasn’t. There was the luxury day care center that certainly wasn’t. And now there’s the luxury medical office that… actually, this one kinda fits the bill.

This ad hit Craigslist last Wednesday:

One-of –a kind Turn-key Medical Office (never occupied) for immediate lease in a 5-story medical building with parking. This place is luxuriously decorated. You’ve never seen anything like this – must see to believe.

Ideal for large practice or small 2-4 doctors group, especially interested in office-based procedures. Cosmetic, Plastic Surgery, OBGYN, Urology, GI, Pain Management or other providers who want to impress their clients.

The 4,000-square-foot space across the street from the Belt Parkway on Voorhies Avenue includes eight private offices and a lead-lined, sound-proof procedure room (but only one parking spot). But nevermind that, or the central air, or the “large” waiting area – let’s focus on the fancy.

Waiting room of wonder

For a monthly rent of $128,000, we’re talking cherry wood parquetry in the hallways and African Rosewood parquetry in the offices; Mahogany woodwork all throughout; gold-leaf ceilings, chandeliers, marble, mirrors, spot-lighted portrait spaces – agh! This is style!

Yeah, we could make fun of it with jokes about its Shining-esque hallways or the really goofy, pretentious paintings. But none of that would do it justice. Lingering over any jokes we might make remain important – and unanswered – questions:

Why the hell is this bourgie ball of bullshit in Sheepshead Bay, and is this a good thing?

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  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

    Over a million dollars a year rent for a medical facility. Well, I suppose that some predatory providers might make a go of it. But most medical practices wouldn't survive the cost.

  • bbbb

    Ned, you covered the “luxury” building a block from the Marlboro projects but perhaps you don't know about the “ultimate luxury condo” built on Emmons Ave and Neptune directly adjacent to a very busy gas station. It has very conspicuous round balconies. I attended the open house and saw the condos that smell like gas 24 hours a day and have black soot already covering the ceilings. I don't know a single person who can talk about that building without laughing.

  • Ray Johnson

    There's already a luxury dental office, so I guess it was just a matter of time before the “luxury” medical offices moved in. But, who actually has medical insurance enough to cover the cost of this overhead?
    http://www.sheepsheadbites.com/2010/01/luxury-d…

  • Local Broker

    Looks great. Who they hell is going to pay that rent. You can get the same space on the upper east side and make enough money to cover it not here. Looks more like a Law office than Docs office.

  • tj

    yesssssss, more medicaid scams to come!

  • BrooklynBus

    Didn't realize Donald Trump has a doctor in Sheepshead Bay. Can't imagine anyone else who would be impressed by this. Appalled is more apprpriate than impressed for the rest of us.

  • Kooool

    They should make it a high-end brothel

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