• Ugly Emmons Space Brings In Big Bucks


    by on Jan 25th, 2010

    Photo by Doughnut

    In the fight to make a better waterfront, most argue that if residential homes are torn down, they ought to be replaced with something to compliment the marina. Be it bait and tackle shops or lively nightlife, that’s what’s called for, and that’s why the Sheepshead Bay Special Zoning District exists.

    Unfortunately, there is no provision to ensure that people don’t tear down an Emmons Avenue bungalow and build an ugly piece of shit. Case in point? 3101 Emmons Avenue, which sold on January 14 for an astounding $1.75 million.

    The newly constructed commercial unit replaces a bungalow house with 5,050 square feet of fugly, featuring a mezzanine with no view. Judging from the design, and some insider whispering, it will most likely go to some sort of bar/restaurant/lounge use. Which is cool. Except that it’s ugly.

    We’re a little surprised by the high selling price of this thing (a whopping $350 per square foot), but, hey, even in a depression it’s always a seller’s market for cold, ambiguous steel doors on phallic, beige utility shafts.

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    • Ray Johnson

      Some others might say it's clean, sleek and modern.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

      But Ray, it violates every known rule of architectural design. And it's obvious that they used every bit of space they could. It's horribly squeezed in.

    • Local Broker

      i dont like the design but it is bright and clean. better than another dark brick building. looks like a west coast design.

    • http://www.nedberke.com Ned Berke

      I consider the photo to be flattering. I think it looks worse in person.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

      It's new, so it had better look clean. Give it about 5 years and it will look totally like the aesthetic disaster it is.

      I've seen better designs executed by 6 year olds using Lego™ bricks.

    • Local Broker

      did that trademark after lego fill it self in

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/lisanne001 Lisanne!

      Someday they will be automatic. In the meantime, I always manually insert the ™ symbol whenever I reference a product that is mentioned so often that it is in danger of losing its trademark protection. Unless they have lawyers whose job it is to make sure that doesn't happen.

    • Ray Johnson

      Oops, instead of leaving my comment, I pressed the “Like” button. Here's what I meant to say: This place is going to be a nightclub and bar, no? Let's say they give you a couple of free drinks, I'm sure you'll find the building a LOT less “fugly” as you like to put it.

    • PayPaul

      That bungalow looks so forlorn next to this exercise in bad geometry.

      • Gunzhard

        I long for the Dutch to return. Eastern Europeans are shitting all over the bay.