staples store ocean front 1

Yesterday, June 16, 2009, at approximately 7:42 a.m., the Gothamist Labs and the Breaking News Network reported that the Staples Office Superstore at 2892 Ocean Avenue had been robbed.

Sources tell us that shortly after the store opened at 7 a.m., a man entered the main entrance posing as someone who was interested in applying for a job. The manager on duty directed the applicant to submit his application online at the Staples website, since paper applications are no longer used.

After the early-rising, eager beaver found out how to get a job at the store, he decided it was time to rob it. Telling the stunned manager that he would be shot in the heart, if he didn’t take him to the safe — the man immediately went from job applicant to armed robber.

Other employees at the store were not aware that a robbery was underway, leaving the way clear for the thief to walk away with an undisclosed amount of cash and some of the manager’s personal property.

Video surveillance of the thief was handed over to the police a short time later and business was on as usual.

Later that morning, there was at least one other armed robbery not so far away, and police are investigating if the two crimes were perpetrated by the same person.

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  • Anthony

    I’ve never heard an AM thief referred to as an “early-rising, eager beaver” before, lol. I love it. I guess the early bird catches the worm after all. But seriously, Staples is hiring? Applications online? Got it, thanks!

  • Anonymous

    Well, the early-rising part had to do with the time…and the eager beaver part was referring to the lie about wanting a job. But, glad you liked it.

  • Anthony

    I’ve never heard an AM thief referred to as an “early-rising, eager beaver” before, lol. I love it. I guess the early bird catches the worm after all. But seriously, Staples is hiring? Applications online? Got it, thanks!

  • Anonymous

    Well, the early-rising part had to do with the time…and the eager beaver part was referring to the lie about wanting a job. But, glad you liked it.

  • http://www.njluxurymotors.com Arthur Borko

    Mmhm, Spam!

  • http://www.njluxurymotors.com Arthur B

    Mmhm, Spam!

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